No matter how old or young you are, there’s a certain stigma that comes with bettering yourself when it comes to dating. Not everyone is blessed with natural killer dating instincts, but with some time, some advice and some experience, every woman should be able to quickly tell whether a particular date is for them, and maximise the chance of the date reciprocating it.
So where can you get the best advice to develop yourself into the desirable dating goddess you know you can be? How about your friends? Sure, while friends sometimes do offer good advice, there are certain caveats to 100% trusting them with your dates. Everyone is different, and standards held by some of your friends may not be the same as the standards you naturally hold for yourself. Everyone sees different qualities and shortcomings in people that they either admire or loathe, it’s easy to change your opinions to reflect those of your friends’, and a relationship built upon these artificial opinions is not usually one that can last. This can result in you dismissing the guy that deep down you know you prefer, but don’t think your friends will approve of. At the end of the day, it’s your life rather than theirs.
When it comes to dating, the majority of women make the error of holding back and letting the man lead the interaction. Maybe it’s from past experiences where appearing interested has bitten you, or taking the front foot hasn’t paid off, but when it comes to dating, the most desirable relationship to form is one that is 50-50 and balanced. It’s important to remember here that while you are judging them on how well they carry themselves, they’re also judging you. Just sitting there quiet, shy and giggly doesn’t show them your personality, and the first word that’ll pop into their heads is “boring!”, even though we know you’re not.
Another mistake a lot of women make is that they’re not proactive with finding their partner. Many are simply drifting through life hoping for the right person to come up to them and ask them out on a date. A plan like this is a bit like buying the lottery, sure it might work for a select group of people, but that is not how the majority of relationships are bought about. Shyness and being the stereotype are the enemies here. It’s such an old fashioned frame of mind that the woman have to be courted by the man; in this day and age where everything is all about equality, it’s no longer frowned upon for women to make the first move. Think about it for a second, if you’re courting guys and guys are courting you, then you’re effectively doubling your chances of getting a date and ultimately a relationship.
Top “Don’t” Dating Tips For Women
Don’t Be Desperate
We mentioned above that you shouldn’t be afraid to be proactive when looking for a date, but there is a thin line between being proactive and appearing desperate. The last thing you want to do is scare someone you like away with incessant calling and texting after or even before the first date. It’s important to show them you’re interested, but it’s also important to be on the same page as the other person.
Naturally, there should be a 50-50 balance as to who takes the initiative because ultimately, you’d be hoping for a 50-50 relationship when it gets there. There’s a simple test to see if he’s as interested in the date as you are, simply stop texting and calling for a little while and see if he comes back to you. If he is interested, he’ll get back to you, if he isn’t then he won’t, it’s as simple as that.
A lot of guys suffer from commitment issues, and being too forward will usually cause this phobia to kick in and result in them pushing you away. Everybody’s different, and you will need to feel around to see what they’re like before planning next steps.
Don’t Invite Them In On The First Date
Maybe the date has gone really well, you’re both in the taxi home and now you’re considering whether to invite him in for “coffee”. This could be the single biggest reason why some girls can’t get a long term relationship and stuck in the “hook-up” phase.
Simply put, the guy will always appear keen on coming in for “coffee”, but deep down inside, if he’s as interested in you as you are in him, then deep down he’d actually want you to not invite them in. It’s not that they don’t want to hook up, it’s just that if you do on the first date, they’ll start having a little idea wriggling around the back of their mind that maybe you do this with a lot of guys. A hook up is good, but the real aim is to make something long term out of it.
Don’t Get Drunk
Another common mistake a lot of women make during the date is overindulging. Alcohol may be good in some situations where a bit of liquid confidence is needed, but during a date, it does not show him the real you. There are hundreds of other ways to loosen up before the date if you’re nervous, and mentally, it’s important to not get worked up too much about the meet.
Everyone will have different dating advice and tips that work for them. All situations are different, and you need to be able to adapt when dating different types of guys. Only with experience are you able to quickly get a feel of how to encourage a successful date. Whilst it’s good practice to have a plan when going into a date, it’s also important that you have fun and enjoy yourself.